Wednesday, April 20, 2011

Pants . . .why they're important to so many people

Originally posted on January 15, 2010

Breeches, trousers, capris, gauchos, jeans and trews. These are some of the many names I ran across when sifting through the history of pants. Women fought to bring pants into acceptance on many occassions, starting with Persian women in the 4th century and followed by the western world in the 1880's when women decided that riding a bicycle in a dress could prove seriously fatal. Even then, fashion didn't consider pants appropriate for women until World War I when necessity had women going into the factories to work in the places of the missing men.  Today, we worry about style, fit, cut, feel, color, length, material and durability. All of these problems aside, we have bigger problems these days than those aforementioned. 

Now as I risk sounding like a fuddy duddy, I will say that the biggest problem we face is really all about the positioning of the pants. For years I have heard teachers old and new complaining that kids need to pull up their pants and wear them as the pants were intended to be worn. When the machines made a space for two butt cheeks and the pants were marketed, I am pretty sure they were meant to be worn ABOVE and COVERING the underwear, ergo the title of "UNDERwear." Short of screaming it from the rooftops, I don't know what we can do to convince people that pants really do keep your butt warm, look nice when worn correctly and if worn incorrectly will allow me to judge you more than a little bit before making your acquaintance. My worries and the worries of many, however, no longer need to be so . . .we have a pioneer who is willing to sing the song of the appropriate pants in front of the world for all to hear. 

General Larry Platt, wonderful, spry and oh so willing to take it to the next level. He is the voice of the people . . .the people who hate seeing the boxer shorts of boys and men hanging out in broad daylight . . .the people who wonder how walking is possible when your knees have a wedgie . . .the people who secretly hope that someone will chase the person wearing the pants around their ankles to see how fast they really will be able to run and how far before falling on their idiotic faces . . .you know you've wondered. So thank you General Platt for your musings, your voice and your dancing skills. You are the hero of the traveling pants . . .let them come home to stay . . .stay put above the hips, that is.

No comments:

Post a Comment